2 Big Broncos Humor of 4x4ing

Used Car Classifieds... Translation of Key Phrases

• MUST SELL… before it blows up.
• RUNS FINE… I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
• NEEDS SOME BODY WORK… was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
• WELL-MAINTAINED… I occasionally changed the oil.
• LOOKS LIKE NEW… just don't try to drive it anywhere.
• ALL ORIGINAL… I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
• LOADED WITH OPTIONS… each one more troublesome than the last.
• NEVER SMOKED IN… unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it.
• PROJECT CAR… I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.
• LOTS OF POTENTIAL… to drive you insane.
• NEEDS MINOR REPAIR… doesn't run.
• ENGINE QUIET... uses 90-weight oil
• PARTS CAR... beyond repair.
• ROUGH CONDITION… too bad to lie about.
• IMMACULATE... recently washed.
• CONCOURS... recently waxed.
• NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL... needs engine.
• NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL... phone the junkyard.
• BURNS NO OIL... (it all leaks out).
• REBUILT ENGINE... cleaned the spark plugs.
• DRIVE IT AWAY... I live on a hill.
• DRIVE IT ANYWHERE... (within 10 miles).
• DESIRABLE CLASSIC... no one wants it.
• RARE CLASSIC... no one wanted it even when it was new.
• STORED 20 YEARS... (in a farmer's field).
• RAN WHEN STORED... won't start.
• NEVER APART... bolts too rounded to loosen.
• SOLID AS A ROCK... rusted solid
• RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES... won't start.
• RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES... won't stay running.
• OLDER RESTORATION... first owner washed it.
• GOOD INVESTMENT... can't be worth much less.
• NO TIME TO RESTORE IT... can't obtain parts.
• 95% COMPLETE... other 5% doesn't exist.
• CLEAN… homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows.
• GOOD TRANSPORTATION… It's ugly as sin.
• ENGINE BLUEPRINTED… I don't know what it means either.
• EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE… It's slow.
• LOW MILES… the odometer was turned back.
• ONE OWNER… can't give it away.
• SURE TO APPRECIATE… that's why I'm selling it.
• . . .OR BEST OFFER… I'm guessing here.
• FASTER THAN A 'VETTE… A Chevette.
• OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT... spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!"